After the lifting of the veils, and the wonder and awe recedes, we are often left with confusion and disorientation. What is now real and true? What even is reality? We discover previously held dear values, beliefs and opinions either do not resonate or stand up to interrogation. Our whole life – the structure, foundation and our relationships – can begin to fall a part at the seams.

At this point, we need to new orientation and understanding of who we are. Knowing our purpose, the dynamics, patterns and themes we are working with and the challenges and wounds that hold us back can be invaluable.

Sometimes things get sacrified to the truth – friendships, family, partners, peers and even teachers are up for deep review as we move through the many layers. We could say we are in an intense period of continually reaawakening awakening. We are propelled into sorting and sifting through our new reality, a newly developed nose for the scent of truth alerts us to any signal of falsity, and while certainly exhilarating, this can also be painful, time consuming, intense and isolating. It’s not always clear who will take this journey with us, and sometimes we need to develop patience.

In this cauldron of alchemy, we are being reborn, although it certainly doesn’t feel like this. At some point, before this burgeoning, newly orientated self can take a place in the world, much will need to go. This is an intensely spiritual process where we are moving beyond the confines of who we once were. The internal landscape is being warped and reshaped, and there could be a lot of resistance.  At this point, it can feel like no one can help us, since we are stepping beyond many of our support mechanisms and structures. People and resources previously of value, now provide us with nothing, or even diminish our new sense of self. We are forced to make permanent or temporary choices that redefine our lives.

While we have freeing moments of illumination and expansion, interspersed with this are longer periods of plateau. We can feel like we are in an endless vacuum awaiting a hiatus. We can feel like no one can help or save us. We can imagine many doom day scenarios for our own life and that of the world. It feels often desperate and revelationary at the same time.

This is a journey of willingness and openness, courage and curiosity, since the deep reveal forces us to face our own self-righteousness. As we begin to meet the edges of our consciousness, thresholds and all else that keeps us in the dark, disconnected, separate and limited, arises to be acknowledged. We face our nihilism and our inability to sit with the unknown in doubt. Essentially it’s one of the ultimate initiations.

Different dimensions pull us this way and that. Sometimes we feel the high frequencies pulsing through our being, and the next moment we are sitting in self-hatred or self-rejection. As we move along this path, more of us opens up, the good, the bad and the downright ugly. We are in unchartered territory, within ourselves and in the world, and each of us must find our own way through this initiation into mastery. This is best done with deep holding. Since it then allows our fullness to know itself in the space that is always there to be entered into.

Facing our deepest pain, denial and abdication of responsibility is perhaps some of the hardest things we will ever do. But once these thresholds are crossed and the work fully integrated, there is little chance of return. As we then lose all fear and all triggers, we enter into our full creative power, we know our reality as our own creation, and ourselves as Source. There is much here to explore and it can take us to our knees, though take heart, as from this place there is only one way, and that is up to become one with your spirit.